Thursday, December 13, 2007

No one is to blame

You can look at the menu but you just can't eat
You can feel the cushions but you can't have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you can't have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin

--Howard Jones

This is where life lies right now. In a sick way, it's harder to be at home with Henry feeling so well. We can almost taste normalcy, but we know we can't get it back.

He's still got cancer. He's still got months of chemotherapy in front of him. He's got possible radiation treatment. He's got loads of doctor's appointments, invasive procedures, sedations, MRIs. In the best case scenario, he's looking at developmental delay and some degree of chronic illness.

In the hospital, the goal to work toward is getting home with him feeling well.

Once we're home with him feeling well, I realize this is as good as it gets.

But it's not good enough.

No one, no one, no one ever is to blame.


Anonymous said...

Try to enjoy the time as best you can. You are in my prayers.

SOCKS said...

Your blog entries are so sensitive, real, touching and sad.

There is nothing anyone can say except to express their sorrow and to hope and pray that Henry has the best outcome possible. And it will become your "norm" - the best that it can be.

JeanMac said...

You are in my thoughts tonight, as always.

Anonymous said...

Hold on as best you can. I wish I could help you.


Emily said...

It breaks my heart that you and your family (and especially your son) have to go through this. You're right - it's not good enough.

Anonymous said...

You have been robbed and Henry too. I hope that it eases up for you both.

Anonymous said...

Life sucks.

janemariemd said...

Thank you for sharing your struggles. You write quite eloquently.