So I'm not sure that you all realize it, but you all function quite effectively as my collective internet therapist. When something starts to roll around in my mind too long, I blog it, and it's better. And I'm beginning to get angry when I see people who are trying to express their grief, and I don't want to feel angry. So here we go.
People don't know what to say. I get that. I'm not even sure that I can give anyone advice on what to say. It's just awful.
But please don't say, "I couldn't do what you've done".
Trust me, you could. I didn't sign up for this. It's not an Ironman Triathalon that sounded like a good idea several months ago, but now we're all reconsidering.
What you're really trying to say is, "God, that is such an awful, terrible thing to happen that I can't even fathom how you are coping with life, and it must be because you are made of some sort of different protoplasm than I am, and since I'm just too delicate to handle it, it will never happen to me."
Well, you're wrong.
I don't want to do this. I didn't ask for this in my life. Neither did the holocaust Jews, or the Tsunami victims, or the last person in your town who's spouse was killed in a car accident. I'm not looking to be strong, or motivational, or have some TV miniseries made about me. I'm just like you, trying to live my life, and something really bad happened to me and my family.
And I hate to tell you this, but something really bad might happen to you too.
And to think that it can't pushes me away.
So stop saying that to me.
Instead, maybe you could say, "This really sucks, and I'm so sorry."
Because then you are still here, with me. And you're sorry, and it helps.