Saturday, November 14, 2009

The end of Dr. Smak?

I'll skip to the end. I'm not going to quit blogging. Yet.

This blog is faltering for me. Like my life over the past few years, it has changed into something altogether different than when it started.

Initially, I started blogging after finding I really enjoyed the medical blogs I was reading. There's a camaraderie in medical blogging that was fun. I was new to being a family doctor, and found delight and wonder in my day to day interactions with patients.

Just as my creative juices for medblogging were beginning to dry up, Henry got sick. I really didn't intend for this blog to turn into my group therapy sessions, but somewhere it did. It's hard for me to put into words how valuable this, and you as my readers, have been through the last 2 years. There was such relief in getting my thoughts and feelings out into the keyboard, and such support with each comment left.

This stage seems to be evaporating as well. My emotions are more stable, less intense, and more consistent. Predictability does not make for interesting blogging. For two years I've yearned for predictability; I'm not complaining. But I find my inspiration for blogging has diminished.

So I'm not sure what to do with Dr. Smak. She loves her patients, but finds it less and less often that they surprise her (at least, in good ways that are worth blogging about.) She misses Henry, but there too finds that the poignant moments or memories are more and more rare. She has lots more going on in her life, but does not think much of it of interest to her blog audience.

In short, I'm still blogging. But less.

9 comments:

Taking Heart said...

Oh, I would miss you! I understand your reasoning... but I still love to stop by and read regardless of where your thoughts fall... you are an excellent writer.

Don't worry about the label. Just write. :)

rlbates said...

Echoing Taking Heart. You would be missed, so I am glad you will continue to write even if less often. :)

...tom... said...

...

Ditto.

H3ll, I blog less than I used to. I think the 'blogging interest' of most writers waxes and wanes over the months and years. Not surprising that yours would. Particularly for a blog that may not be as . . .'needed', or as inviting, as it once was.

I have said before that your words speak eloquently of your thoughts and feelings, speak clearly and powerfully from your heart. I hope you continue to share your thoughts and musings. If not here, then elsewhere.


Anyway, I have you blogrolled. When you write here, I will see it. If elsewhere, I am sure the brilliant flash of a new, powerful message will be hard to miss.


...tom...
.

twinmom said...

Agree with everyone else. I rarely comment, but check nearly every day for a new post. You're writing is insightful and always worth reading, no matter your subject. Being mother to a 6 year old son, I ached for you during your darkest days, and always came away marveling at your way with words, at your way of putting into words thoughts and feelings that are usually not decodable. I guess we all understand what you are saying, but will all miss you if you go.

Margaret Polaneczky, MD (aka TBTAM) said...

I'll take whatever you give, whenever you give it. Life is interesting, even when it begins to settle into something different than i was before. But after what you've been through, I can see its hard to decide where to take the blog. so let it be for now and see where things take you. Just know we are thinking of you.

OHN said...

Life has to evolve along with your needs. There are times posting is not even an option, and there are others, when it is the only thing that keeps you sane.

I think we all understand that or we wouldn't be reading/writing.

I just hope you don't stop because of the thought that people aren't interested and care, because we are, and we do.

A Doc 2 Be said...

Oooh - this post must've gotten lost last week when I was midst biochem exam prep!

On a personal note, I'd miss your writing... no matter what it is about. To find women who are practicing physicians, in med school, or like me - trying to be in med school, listening, reading, digesting all that comes with the territory as women and as mothers, is invaluable.

I would miss you and as others have said, would understand if you decided to quit blogging.

/hug

Ad2b

SOCKS said...

Dr Smak,

Whether your posts are humorous, sad, controversial or thought provoking, they are "engaging" to your readers.

Whether they are daily, weekly or less frequent, I feel excited when there is a new one - filled with the anticipation of being entertained or brought to tears or forced to think about how I would have reacted to a similar situation.

As so many readers have said, you have a gift for writing, for honesty, for self expression, for humor.
I hope you will continue to write when you are so inclined - just as you always have.

WordDoc said...

My juices (creative that is) were leaking a bit as well. So I'm trying something entirely new and different. So far, so interesting. Beats Twitter! (tried that too!) Wherever you go, keep us posted so we can follow along. No apologies needed for growth and change!